How to be self sustainable: Your Guide to Self-Sufficiency and Adopting a More Sustainable Lifestyle

Your Guide to Self-Sufficiency and Adopting a More Sustainable Lifestyle

With growing populations comes an increase in demand for goods and resources. Although it’s necessary for us to utilize resources to boost our standards of living, the way we go about it can significantly impact the environment. According to the United Nations (UN), the world’s population is expected to increase by 2 billion people within 30 years. That’s why it’s our responsibility to prioritize sustainable living.

Since 1970, resource extraction has tripled. With the trends and patterns of production and usage, our global material use could reach 190 billion tons by 2060. This pattern also forecasts that greenhouse gas emissions could increase by 43%. Now the question is: What can we do to curb the negative effects of human activities on the environment?

Beyond government and corporate interventions, we, as consumers, can make a change. One of the greatest intentional steps you can take is to adopt a self-sufficient and sustainable lifestyle. This calls us back to the basics—an ode to simplicity.

While it can be overwhelming to think about all the changes the world needs, you can do your part and reinvent your everyday activities. Here’s how.

What Do Self-Sufficiency and Sustainable Living Have In Common?

Self-sufficiency means being able to provide for your needs—without depending on outside aid. When you’re self-sufficient, you can meet your needs like food, shelter, water, and energy without over-reliance on outside resources.

That means self-sufficiency could be the opposite of our consumer-driven society—to be self-sufficient means you only use what you have and live within your means. And that’s where sustainability comes in. Although we may not use the terms self-sufficiency and sustainable living interchangeably, they intersect.

Sustainable living represents a lifestyle of reduction: reducing our consumption and impact on the environment. And self-sufficiency is one way to achieve this. Self-sufficiency tackles knowing how much is enough and employing low-impact methods in daily living—helping you reduce your carbon footprint.

Contrary to the name, self-sufficiency doesn’t necessarily mean doing it all by yourself. In this light, self-sufficient living can also mean interdependence on support systems. Think local resources, immediate communities, and even your family and friends.

Here’s how you can embrace a self-sufficient and sustainable lifestyle moving forward.

8 Ways to Embrace Self-Sufficiency and Sustainable Living

Adopting a new lifestyle can sometimes feel daunting. To take the fear out of the process, see this as your guide to learning new skills to live more sustainably.

Remember: You don’t have to make changes all at once. Start small and work your way around—after all, sustainability isn’t one size fits all. Here are some ways to guide you towards embracing this simple and mindful lifestyle.

1. Grow Your Own Fruits and Vegetables

With food supply and shortage challenges in our world today, growing your food can present many benefits. Apart from providing you with delicious fruits and veggies, growing your own produce also indirectly targets pesticide usage in commercial food growth and supply.

The World Health Organization (WHO) revealed that more than 1,000 pesticides are used globally in farming and food production. And these chemicals put wildlife, ecosystems, and people at risk. By growing your own food, you can help limit the use of toxic chemicals in agriculture.

For city dwellers or those living in smaller spaces, it can be difficult to find a garden space. However, there are solutions! For example, you can try growing microgreens with an at-home kit. And you can still opt for organic or locally harvested fruits and veggies.

2. Plan and Cook Your Meals

Planning and cooking your meals will not only save you money from constantly eating out but also limit your package waste. It’s one thing to develop the skill of growing your food or gardening, and it’s another to take up cooking as an essential practice.

Although eating out or ordering takeout can be convenient, the constant practice can take a toll on the environment and your wallet. Food takeaway or package waste is a major challenge and with constant ordering, you’re increasing your carbon footprint.

Thankfully, meal cooking and meal prepping are easy habits to adopt and can help tackle the problem of food waste. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) estimates that over 70 billion pounds of food waste enters landfills every year. And food waste accounts for approximately 30-40% of the food supply in the U.S.

Some popular ways to meal prep include cooking in batches, prepping the ingredients you need for a recipe, and sticking to individually portioned meals. You can even plan shopping lists and stock up on storage containers to keep your food fresh.

3. Preserve Food to Reduce Waste

Preserving food is one way to prevent food waste. Without effective preservation practices, you’ll find yourself constantly throwing food out—sending it straight to the landfill. And when we send food waste to the landfill, the food improperly biodegrades and releases methane, a greenhouse gas that contributes to global warming.

There are various methods of food preservation, each dealing with specific types of food. Check out some of these common methods:

Drying: You may want to dry your summer vegetables and fruits for the winter. The process requires removing the water contents to ensure the fruits and vegetables don’t spoil over time. For this practice, you can use a dehydrator. If you don’t have one, you can load up your fruits in an oven.

Canning: Canning is another popular method of preserving food. For this method, you’ll need canning jars, lids, and seals to preserve food in airtight containers. The best part is that you can store both raw and cooked foods in these jars.

Pickling: Pickling is one of the easiest preservation methods. It requires making a homemade pickling solution where you can store a variety of vegetables. You can create a solution using salt, vinegar, and sugar (which you bring to a boil in water) and then pour over your fruits and vegetables in a jar for storage.

Freezing: This is a simple way to preserve food items, from leftovers to fruits. When you buy fruits in bulk for daily smoothies, for instance, you want to ensure that your fruits remain in good condition. Freezing them keeps them preserved and ready every morning for your smoothie intake. When you have leftovers, you can refrigerate them—and then place them in a microwave when you’re ready to eat them.

Salting: You can preserve foods such as fish, meat, and vegetables using this method. Salt draws out moisture from food products, reduces the bacteria, and makes food useful for later usage.

Check out our specific guides for keeping produce fresh. There are plenty of hacks for keeping bananas, celery, and lettuce fresh.

4. Practice Composting

If you want to take your food waste reduction a step further, you can compost organic waste. And we know: Composting isn’t for everyone. But once you get the hang of it, you might never look back.

This practice involves turning organic matter or waste into useful, nutrient-rich material for the soil. In this light, you can compost waste materials from your kitchen and yard.

5. Repair and Mend Clothes

Studies show that the fashion industry is consistently growing, with a particular increase in online sales and retailers. Total U.S. fashion e-commerce sales are expected to increase by over $80 billion between 2020 to 2024. That’s an average annual growth rate of nearly 12%.

And while consumers love buying the latest fashion trends, it’s true that these trends don’t always last. Often, our out-of-style clothes get thrown away. In 2018, 11.3 million tons of textiles were landfilled.

One of the reasons some people throw clothes away is wear and tear. To curb this, try mending and sewing the clothes with holes or tears! When you mend your torn clothes, you’re actually extending the item’s life—and it prevents you from buying new clothes that might have been made unsustainably.

Apart from clothes, you can also repair items like broken chairs and tables, preventing you from leaving old furniture at the curb to be picked up. The more you can mend, repair, and embrace creating problem-solving, the more you embrace a self-sufficient lifestyle.

6. Opt for Renewable Energy

Low-impact, alternative energy sources like solar energy support a self-sufficient lifestyle and sustainable development. If you have the resources, consider investing in a renewable energy source like solar energy. This not only reduces your over-reliance on the general power supply but also supports clean energy.

According to our research, we’re noticing an increase in eco-friendly energy across the board. That means eco-powered mobile devices, solar panels for your home, and even small-scale, portable solar panels for when you’re on the go.

It’s true that installing solar panels isn’t easy or accessible to everyone, but with the rise of portable solar panels, this renewable energy source may be making its way into our homes sooner than we think.

7. Travel More Sustainably

We can’t always avoid traveling, especially since many of us commute to and from work and school. However, there are ways to travel more sustainably.

According to National Geographic, transportation accounts for 15-20% of global emissions each year. And the leading cause of air pollution in the U.S? Motor vehicles. So first and foremost, you can walk or bike whenever possible—eliminating the emissions that come with driving. And good news: Electric bikes are becoming more accessible.

Since we can’t always walk or bike from point A to point B, you can adopt other sustainable travel habits, such as carpooling when possible to reduce the number of cars on the road. You can also take public transportation at peak hours—the fuller the train car, the more eco-friendly the ride.

8. Purchase with Purpose

Self-sufficient and sustainable living embraces living within your means, reducing your purchases, and living simpler. Although self-sufficiency arms you with skills to provide for most of your needs, there’s no denying that you’ll still need to consume. This raises the need to embrace intentional and conscious shopping over mindless overconsumption.

As a consumer, you can purchase with a purpose. That means participating in a more circular economy, only buying what you truly need, and supporting small companies and companies with eco-initiatives. Practicing mindful consumption puts you in control of sustainable living. As a result, you reduce the amount of waste you produce and only surround yourself with useful products.

The Takeaway

You don’t have to change every aspect of your life overnight. Instead, sustainable living is about making the changes that work for the planet and you. And at Brightly, we believe in the planet over perfection. Even just making one small change can add up to a major difference—and have a positive impact on the world around you.

Conscious Consumerism, Environment, Sustainability, Sustainable Living

This post may contain affiliate links. Brightly will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on these links.

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41 Ways To Become More Self-Sufficient • The Rustic Elk

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Never in a million years did I ever think I would be even remotely interested in self-sufficient living. Yet, there I was with two little girls living in the suburbs for the first time in almost 10 years. And I was yearning for something more…. To stop being so dependent on everyone else to provide my family and me with basic sustenance. And to teach our children about life.

And I sat there wondering how I could possibly make it happen when we had less than a quarter acre. Most of which was covered by 100% shade and a huge home. I thought I was just going to have to wait it out until we could get back out into a rural area to work toward our dreams.

But, I was determined. Determined to leave this modern, consumer-driven mindset far behind and start becoming more of a producer and an informed consumer. So, I found ways, on that itty bitty lot to work toward our dreams and goals. And now, on our 1-acre homestead, I still have to think outside of the box. Are we striving toward 100% self-sufficiency? No… But, we are striving to become more self-sufficient, right here where we are at. Make do with what we’ve been given and teach our children about the hard work, dedication, and integrity that go into producing their own food.

And if I can do this, you can absolutely do this. Whether you live in a tiny, studio apartment in the middle of a huge urban area or you have 2,000 acres and don’t know what to do with it all. You can become more self-sufficient.

There is no reason to bow down and say okay and give in and buy everything. It’s not necessary to buy into the consumerism that is rampant all over this country, all over this world. You can do something to work toward your goals of self-sufficiency and homesteading right now.

The only thing holding you back… is you.

Sure, we could all sit here and think up excuses. Our living arrangements, time restraints, budget, health all keep us from reaching our goals and living a more self-sufficient life. But that’s all they are, excuses. If you want something bad enough, you can find a way. Nothing can stop you, as long as you put your mind to it. There are ways to work around just about anything holding you back.

It’s time to stand up and do something. Do something better for ourselves, our families, humanity, animals, plants, the environment. Self-sufficiency and sustainability are bigger than just you or me. It’s the whole world. If we all care, if we take steps to become more self-sufficient then it rubs off on our family, our neighbors… their families, their neighbors, and on and on it goes.

Don’t let anything hold you back. The smallest thing can make a huge impact.

I’m just going to list these in no particular order. Obviously, if you’re in an apartment, some of these aren’t currently achievable, but a lot of them are, you just have to think outside the box…

When we lived in the suburbs (which was a huge mistake on our part), we weren’t allowed to have chickens or any other livestock (even rabbits). We had a small corner in our front yard that was big enough for a tiny 6X6 garden bed. Our kitchen was the smallest kitchen I’ve ever had. It belonged on a boat!

My point is, we achieved a lot of these goals right there in that huge home with a tiny yard and a tinier kitchen. And we thrived. Did we produce absolutely everything ourselves? No. But self-sufficiency is more than just trying to produce everything yourself. It’s about community. Supporting local farms, working together, and building skills that will help you become more self-sufficient regardless of your location. Even if it’s just baking a loaf of bread with store-bought flour or growing some herbs in your kitchen window. They’re all skills that are becoming lost in our society today and they all help you learn to become more self-sufficient.

Grow Your Own Food

1. Start a kitchen herb garden.

Did you know that you can grow herbs right in your kitchen? Not even outside, right there in your kitchen. Just stick them by a window for a while, or use artificial light. Herbs are incredibly easy to grow, require very little maintenance, and very little water.

2. Grow a planter garden.

Stuck in an apartment or rent from someone who doesn’t want you to dig up their precious “lawn”? Totally ok. You would be amazed at the number of things that can be grown in planters. It’s astonishing, really.

3. Start a community garden.

Community gardens are becoming more popular each year. They are popping up more frequently in urban, and even suburban areas. This is great. Even if you don’t have room because you live in an apartment, or have a small lot, or covenants that do not allow you to grow a garden. You can still start, or join, a community garden. Lots of fun and they benefit lots of people!

4. Ditch the grass and go for an edible lawn.

We do not need pretty grass, seriously. Tear out decorative shrubs and put some blueberry bushes in their place. Grow a few fruit trees. Make a raised bed garden… just go with the mentality of growing food instead of lawns. Edible lawns can even be pretty! It amazes me how beautiful some edibles really are when they grow. Whoever thought well-manicured grass was important was crazy.

5. Build a compost pile.

You can feed that edible lawn and beautiful garden of yours with completely organic, natural fertilizer. Create less trash and a happier, healthier garden! Win, win!

6. Try vermicomposting.

You can even do this in an apartment! Even without any room at all, you can have rich compost for your plants or garden. It doesn’t take much and you’re still creating less trash!

Raise Livestock for Meat, Dairy & Eggs

7. Get some backyard chickens.

I know this isn’t allowed in some areas, it wasn’t allowed at our previous residence. However, if there are no laws or ordinances prohibiting it, get some! They’re well worth it. Amazing pets that keep you in breakfast. It doesn’t get much better than that.

8. Learn to hunt.

We hunt for survival in our family. Without a successful hunting season, we lack a lot in the way of meat and have an over-abundance of freezer space. Knowing that an animal lived a free life and was killed humanely to feed our family is important to us. Our food should serve a purpose and live happily, not live on a commercial feedlot with its sole purpose to get fattened up and sent to slaughter for the grocery.

9. Learn to butcher.

You harvested the game, now learn how to butcher it yourself. We learned how to do this a few years ago after a local butcher mixed our meat with another deer and divided it in half between the recipients. I’ll never take our meat to butcher again. I know exactly where the animal came from, that it’s all the same animal, and how it was handled from harvest to freezer.

10. Learn to fish and how to clean them.

It kind of goes along the same lines as hunting, but angling is quite a bit different. We love fishing, it’s a favorite pass time of our girls. They are learning how to line a pole, but they can bait a hook and can handle most catches. Except for catfish… I have trouble with those still myself. Slimy, pointy things…

11. Join a farm share.

This is an excellent idea for people who live in areas where farming, especially livestock, isn’t possible. There are shares almost everywhere. These farmers are committed to sustainable farming practices, their livestock is treated humanely, and fed things far healthier than skittles.

12. Get meat rabbits.

One buck and two does can produce enough meat for you to eat one rabbit a week for a year. Most people who have restraints on chicken keeping do not have the same restraints for meat rabbits. Why? Because they forgot to include it in the wording. Sure, rabbits are cute and cuddly, but they can be a great way to fill your freezer.

13. Get your own dairy animal.

I cannot wait for the day we can add dairy goats to our homestead. Fresh, raw milk is delicious and good for you! If you have the room, add a couple of goats or a cow. I’ll live vicariously through you until we can get our goats.

14. Learn how to tan a hide.

It amazes me how the Native Americans, and most cultures, used all of their harvested animals. They didn’t just toss the carcass aside. We plan to learn how to tan this year. We have a couple of deer hides ready to tan, we just need to figure out how to do it. Absolutely nothing wrong with some handmade, soft leather. Lots of purposes!

15. Learn to make butter, cheese, and yogurt.

These are really 3 things, but they are all dairy-related. Butter is easy, start with that. Yogurt isn’t so bad… cheese, I’m wanting to tackle that next.

16. Learn to render fat.

Contrary to what we’ve been told forever and ever, animal fats are good for us! Learn how to render your own, because there are very few places that have healthy animal fats available for sale. Knowing how to make your own lard and tallow is a beautiful thing.

17. Become a bee farmer.

We’re killing our bees! In fact, most honey on store shelves isn’t even honey… Start your own and you’ll have fresh, local honey and beeswax to make some candles!!

Learn Simple Old-Fashioned Skills

18. Stop using your clothes dryer.

Clothes dryers are some of the biggest energy suckers out there. Not only do they waste tons of energy, they tear up your clothes! One less thing you have to pay for and your clothes will last longer! You can even do this in an apartment. Just dry your clothes on racks indoors.

19. Ditch cable, or even TV altogether.

Seriously, you do not need all of that mindless garbage in your home! There are better ways to entertain yourself. Less money out of your pocket, more time for more important things in life. Trust me on this. You will be far more productive and you will buy less! We save over $1,500 a year by not subscribing to satellite TV and lord knows how much more we save by simply not seeing the ridiculous advertisements telling us some new contraption we need in our lives.

20. Learn to sew.

I don’t care if you learn how to sew by hand, with a machine, or both. Just learn. This is a skill that is incredibly underused and even becoming extinct. Very, very few people know how to sew. It’s a helpful skill. You can mend clothes instead of buying new ones and you can even sew your own. If you shop around, it’s cheaper, and they will be better quality if you make your own.

21. Learn to knit or crochet (or both).

Same as sewing! If you could knit your own gloves or hat you would stay warm all winter :). Make a blanket, socks, the sky is the limit. You could even do one better and learn how to spin your own wool.

22. Make your own candles.

Homemade candles, especially those made with beeswax or animal fat, are much more natural and healthier for your home and your indoor air quality! You can use these instead of lights and cut down on your power bill. The more you learn to do without electricity (even once in a while) the better off you are.

23. Install rain barrels.

You can use these to water your garden, water your livestock, and if you purify it, you can even use it for personal use, or dishes, or… anything really. Especially if you don’t have an asphalt roof.

24. Install a gray water system.

So much water gets wasted by pouring it down the drain. You do dishes, water gets wasted, you do laundry. This is especially useful and beneficial if you use natural cleaners, as a lot of the cleaners on the market today are too harsh to utilize a gray water system.

25. Make your own cleaners.

It’s amazing what a bottle of vinegar and some citrus fruit can do. Most of us have everything we need to clean our homes sitting right in our kitchen. No harsh chemicals, no overpriced cleansers, no overpowering smells. Just plain clean.

26. Learn how to make soap.

This is pretty easy if you go with melt and pour types. Although making cold process soap is more time-consuming, it doesn’t come without reward. It’s a lot cheaper, you know what’s in it, and it cleans better. We love our homemade soap!

27. Learn how to make a fire.

And seriously consider finding a way to get a fireplace or wood burner in your house. No electricity means no heat for the vast majority of us, even if we have gas or propane furnaces… you have to have electricity to kick them on! Plus, knowing how to build a fire outside is a good idea too.

28. Learn to can your food.

Even food you picked up at the grocery can be canned! If you find a great deal on some organic produce, pick up some extra and learn to preserve it! Check out my post on how to can dry beans, too.

29. Learn to tap trees.

Tapping maple trees and other varieties in your yard can give you an amazing experience and syrup and sugar. It may not produce a lot, but it’s a skill you will have.

30. Make your own food from scratch.

Sure, you might have to purchase some of the goods, but you can best bet that all of those things you had to purchase can be grown if necessary.

31. Learn the elements of building a basic structure.

Not saying you need to build one, but knowledge is power, folks!!

32. Learn how to ferment foods.

Fermented foods are good for you! They help your gut develop healthy flora which, in turn, helps you be your healthiest. All disease starts in the gut, folks. Ferment some foods and help yourself stay healthy!

33. Learn to forage.

There are so many edible weeds out there that we don’t know about! Find a good book to help guide you along, and get to it and stop killing your dandelions!!! It kills bees and they’re actually beneficial to you as well!

34. Learn medicinal uses of herbs.

In a booming essential oil world, I encourage you to learn more about herbs. Those herbs you can grow right in your kitchen or on your back deck! You don’t need to depend on a company to make them. They can even be found in the wild. A lot of them have tons of medicinal purposes!!

35. Make your own salves, remedies, and tinctures.

You learned all about those herbs, now put them to use. There used to be a time where natural medicine was the norm. We’ve definitely swayed way far away from that. While sometimes you still can’t beat a good doctor, many times a home remedy will do the trick or a homeopath can help you find a natural remedy for just about anything that ails you.

36. Build a root cellar.

I hope we have the opportunity to build one soon. They can be elaborate or as simple as an old freezer buried in the ground! Don’t overthink this project.

37. Learn to source healthy food and maybe even barter for it.

The truth is, no matter what we do, we will probably still need a helping hand once in a while. Maybe the house down the road raises pigs and you have a dairy cow. Maybe they grow wheat, and you don’t have room for it. Lots of different scenarios. You can certainly learn to live without those things, but you can source healthy foods and sometimes even barter something you have. If you are in an apartment, this is so important!

38. Learn to live with less.

If you haven’t checked out my post on 32 tips on becoming a minimalist, you should. We don’t need all this junk, people!

39. Exercise.

What the? How’s exercising help me become more self-sufficient?? Well, if you aren’t in shape, you aren’t your best and then you don’t function as well… I could keep going, just do it.

40. Read, read, read.

Seriously, any book or post you can get your hands on that affords information about self-sufficiency to you, and read it!

Last but not least…

41. Never be too proud to ask for help.

We’re all here, and some of us know more about certain things. Ask for help, whether that be sourcing food like I mentioned above or getting someone to help, or even just to teach you, how to hunt wild game… never, ever be too proud to ask for help or you’ll never meet that goal.

That’s it! This is not an exhaustive list by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s a good start!

How to become a self-sufficient person – Psychologos Kozlov, Professor

Rector of the University of Practical Psychology

Telegram channel t.me/kozlovni

A self-sufficient person has everything. But does he have a love for people?

The only way to become a self-sufficient person is to stop waiting, let alone demand something from others, to start living and behaving like an adult and self-sufficient person.

Self Care

First Steps: Learn how to take care of yourself, learn how to make money and solve all your life’s problems on your own. Can you handle it? If you don’t whine and you’re okay with intelligence, you can handle it. Yes?

Self-care

It is imperative to take care of your body, its beauty, vitality and health. The sooner you teach yourself a healthy lifestyle, the longer you will remain a self-sufficient person. See details →

Your social circle

Deal with your social circle, with your friends and acquaintances: now you should be next to only those who you need, only when you need it, and involve only those things and conversations that you need and are interested in. This is a special art: to have friends without them “having” you. The ability to be both self-sufficient and in demand, attractive to others is not immediately mastered. See →

Ready for loneliness

Many will benefit from the experience of productive solitude. If you have a fear of loneliness, you need to go through it and understand that there is nothing wrong with it. You just live on your own, minding your own business. Loneliness is like a fasting diet. Everything superfluous and unnecessary is removed in the process of internal study of one’s own programs and restrictions, new skills are developed and changes are consolidated.

Self-decision

Get used to making decisions on your own. Don’t go with the flow, it’s foolish to go against the flow, go where you need to go. Listen to everyone’s advice, but do your own thing. Remember that you, not your advisers, ultimately make the decision, and you are responsible for it, not them. See →

Having your own goals: for a day, for a year, for life

Learn to set goals. The one who has his goals, lives his life. Whoever has not defined his goals, still lives by what life and those around him offer him. It’s probably better to live your own life. Learn to set goals!

It turns out that self-sufficiency is not at all mysterious. It does not fall from the sky, on the other hand, it is quite accessible: you just need to work on yourself. How to work on yourself, see here.

Prospects for development: what’s next, beyond self-sufficiency?

Everything has its time. Self-sufficiency at a certain stage is a sign of growing up, a sign of a qualitative development of a person: “I can stand on my own feet in life”, and this is already good! But self-sufficiency is not at all the height of personal development, do not get stuck on it. Start thinking about others and caring for others. Perhaps you are waiting for the exercise “If I loved.” It is better when a person does not get stuck on self-sufficiency, but learns to give care to people around him. See →

But self-sufficiency is by no means the top of personal development, the ability to take care of oneself is only the beginning. Don’t get stuck on self-sufficiency. Start learning to think about others, take care of others, learn to give care to people around you.

Gosha from the film “Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears” lived as a completely self-sufficient person until he met the woman he loved. After that, he may have lost his self-sufficiency to some extent, but gained love and a new meaning in life. What we wish you. For those who are interested, we recommend the exercise “If I loved”!

The film “Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears”

Self-sufficiency
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Author N.I. Kozlov

Comments (8):

Guest, 24 September 2013, 15:25

Thank you very much for the article. Written simply, clearly, easy to read.

Guest, April 04, 2019, 12:15 pm

I have always been touched by people who make friends according to the principle from this article “only those who you need should be next to you, only when you need it.” The question immediately arises – why do these people then you? In any healthy relationship, you should not only take, but also give. Friendship is not only a commonality of interests, views, but also mutual support. Trouble or trouble can arise in a person at any time. And it is precisely the willingness to support in trouble, to sacrifice one’s time, peace of mind, and strength in order to alleviate someone’s suffering – and there is a sign of true friendship. Otherwise, why do we need such people who communicate only when they are interested, about what excites them? In my reasoning, I mean, of course, ordinary, non-toxic and non-sick relationships between people.

replies

Guest, April 15, 2019 09:52

Support

Guest, February 21, 2020 17:46

Here about the needs, in the ability to recognize and accept them, in including in terms of communication. September 27, 2022

guest, December 24, 2022, 11:21 AM

Fully agree about friendship. But it seems to me that the article is not quite about that. She approaches the issue of friendship from the perspective of herself and her sense of self.

Guest, May 14, 2022, 00:19

I think that self-sufficiency and caring for others and love can be combined. Just don’t put others down and don’t let yourself be put down. It’s complicated! But probably. You need to be a strong personality, and that’s another topic.

Guest, August 08, 2022, 11:29 PM

I don’t understand why they added the last paragraph with an example from the movie. Give up self-sufficiency for the sake of love? See the meaning of life in someone else? What if this person doesn’t exist? If he leaves you, and love is temporary? Or not love at all? There will be a void inside. And what to do? Go looking for a person who will fill this void? And who will need this empty man? Or you will have to work on yourself again and try to develop this self-sufficiency, spending a lot of resources on it. And not the fact that it will work.

How to become self-sufficient: 10 mantras of a self-confident woman

I choose myself and know how to make decisions on my own

Only we ourselves know what is best for us. We intuitively feel when we betray ourselves and our values, but sometimes we are afraid to say it and defend our opinion, our vision of the situation, our decisions. Sometimes we are so afraid of losing something – a man, a job, the approval of others – that we are ready to betray ourselves. First in small things, then in more important matters. It takes inner strength and courage to say what is important to you. And be prepared for the fact that if a person is not ready to hear and accept your values, then he can leave. However, the paradox is that it is honesty with yourself and with others that creates closer and more sincere relationships.

My mood and state do not depend on others

Our integrity is also shown in how we react to the mood and actions of other people. Including the beloved man. If any criticism and a missed call plunge you into depression, then this indicates that you do not feel in harmony with yourself. What hurts us the most is what resonates with our prohibitions against ourselves to act in such a way, or vice versa, the rejection of these qualities in ourselves. Therefore, before you bring down reproaches on others or shed tears, sort it out with yourself: why do you react this way. What pet peeve do you get stepped on all the time? What happens to us is what we allow to happen. As soon as we deal with ourselves, everything starts to change in an amazing way. The more independent we become, the less we are provoked and annoyed.

I do what I love

When a woman does what she loves, she is inspired, passionate, and full of energy. It is the energy that overwhelms us that is the magnet that attracts attention to us. Others, especially men, feel our passion. Any man is excited by a woman who has a favorite thing to do. Her eyes are burning, she is overwhelmed with a passion for life, her thoughts are occupied not only by him. And again, it’s about the courage to be yourself and follow your desires. And if your favorite activity also gives you an excellent income, then the man understands that you choose him not because you are chasing his money, but because you are interested in him as a person.

I have my own interests, hobbies, things that I’m not ready to give up for a man

burning together, the flames get bigger, but each can carry its own light. Our passion for our favorite hobby, sports, personal development allows us to preserve our individuality and uniqueness, not becoming a shadow of a man, but on the contrary, opening up new facets of life for him. It is important to find a balance: not to give up everything for a man and not to leave a man for everything. The famous psychologist, coach and writer Marilyn Atkinson says that a couple should spend 12 hours a week together, and the rest of the time can be devoted to something else. And then your life will be full and rich, and not boring and monotonous.

I have my own social circle, friends and fans

Communication with other people inspires and develops, gives us the opportunity to take a fresh look at ourselves and the world. And if a woman closes herself in a small family world or a world of relationships with a man, then at some point she falls into the trap of the same type of thoughts and reactions. She becomes predictable, dependent and boring. The circle of friends and admirers preserves the freshness of perception, the exchange of new information, knowledge, as well as the feeling that you are interesting to many people, including men. It is important that you only communicate and flirt with other men, but in no case cheat on your beloved, as this destroys intimacy. The interest of other men keeps in good shape not only you, but also your man, who understands that he is in a competitive struggle, and it’s not a fact that the palm will always remain with him. This gives the relationship a slight unpredictability and at the same time makes them stronger.

I do not reveal all my secrets and problems

The ability to keep silent about something also increases interest and desire to know you deeper. When a woman shares the details of her life too frankly – her sores and problems, the veil of mystery and romanticism is lost. At such moments, the other person begins to feel like a pathologist, before whom all the insides are turned out. It is not surprising that after this, not only the attraction disappears, but also just the desire to communicate. The feeling that a stranger is next to you, even if you have been living with him for twenty years, does not allow you to dissolve. And the very thought that you have little secrets excites and excites.

I do not allow myself to be neglected, humiliated and disrespected

Sometimes we confuse acceptance with connivance. Acceptance is when we understand that everyone has their own path and manifestations, we respect a person on a deep level, but at the same time we do not allow him to violate our boundaries. Clear rules about what is acceptable to you and what you will never tolerate make you listen and respect your values. It is important to talk about this and agree on it, without blaming, but firmly declaring your position and principles, feelings and expectations on issues that are really important to you.

I am well-groomed, well-dressed, educated

Self-sufficient woman knows her worth and invests time and money in herself. How we treat ourselves, how much we value ourselves, determines how others treat us and value us. When a woman forgets about herself, does not develop, does not indulge herself in beautiful clothes and self-care, men – and everyone around her – regard this as her disrespect for herself and allow her to be treated as well. But even the point is not what men think and how they perceive us, but the fact that self-love fills us with energy, inspiration and joy!

I don’t throw tantrums for any reason

Wise and self-sufficient women are known for their composure and the ability to control their emotions. This does not mean that she is always even and calm. She can throw a tantrum when she is absolutely calm inside and remain calm on the outside when a storm of emotions is raging inside. It is this contrast that gives it piquancy, and relationships – sharpness. But her performances are clearly calibrated and thoughtful, and this is what gives them such strength and makes them memorable.